We like to influence others

Some people are great at it. Others need some help. Introducing RhetoricVibes, an AI solution for lack of influence in interpersonal interactions.

Oftentimes we find ourselves uncomfortable on couches and in chairs

This sucks because these items are designed for comfort

Introducing ComfiSense, a chrome plug-in to your brain that finds the most comfortable sitting positions and gently nudges your body towards them. Our revolutionary Sympathetic AI uses psychographics to curate a different algorithm for each person, allowing you to reach nirvana on your couch

Apparently, water doesn’t compress

Which makes building houses hard and ocean levels an issue

Introducing AquaSonk, a first of its kind compressor of water molecules with a TAM that’s prob bigger than you think

Unions enable workers to live dignified lives. Unions would be way stronger if super-insanely smart people gravitated to the field.

How to solve this: make organizing lucrative and prestigious

Solution: Labor Union Consultants: firms full of mutant geniuses who understand Neoclassical Economics, the incentive structures of bosses, and how to leverage powerful resources in bargaining. These people are Black Swans but they exist!

Build a hedge fund existing to pay these people what they can get elsewhere, and the Labor Movement can again be a behemoth.

Lots of items are super heavy

Introducing packaging that makes items weightless. Our technology completely neutralizes the earth’s magnetic field effectively countering gravity.

Lots of Williams people are smart, stupendous, and successful

Introducing a pool of equity for Williams students and alumni offered to people likely to do excellent things in the entrepreneurial space, allowing for the birth of an Eph innovation mafia

If more entities performed photosynthesis, then earth would be significantly better off

Introducing the ability for inanimate objects to perform photosynthesis. We have figured out how to make rocks, roads, buildings, and clothing generate glucose while producing oxygen and taking in carbon dioxide

It’s time for animals to develop their own regulated markets

Introducing the first marketplace allowing humans to engage in trade with animals. To facilitate this drastic transition we decided that Dogecoin will be the first interspecies cryptocurrency, facilitating trade among all sentient organisms — arachnids included

Growing up as a white, sometimes dinner wasn’t appetizing. I was hungry but unwilling to eat unseasoned food.

Introducing Photosynthesis For Humans, a novel technology that allows humans to generate glucose without having to eat it. This technology can eradicate hunger!

Regular people don’t read academic books on race, feminism, and the like

When average people are hip to academic ideas on equity and empowerment, society stands to accelerate towards social UTOPIA

Introducing a platform to allow academic ideas to be easily understood by regular people. Someone help with this one

Startups That Don't Exist

If you want to build these startups, by all means.

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